Survivor to Survivor
I have always felt like I just didn’t fit in. I was taught that tears were a sign of weakness; so, I internalized many of the emotions I felt or suppressed them. Turning my emotions inward was wreaking havoc on my mind, body, soul, and connections with others and with myself. As a child, I experienced sexual, verbal, psychological, and emotional abuse. There was no therapy provided because everything was a secret and if I had an opinion, it was not to be shared with anyone. A family rule in many cultures is Children should be seen and not heard, and sometimes children are not believed. As a teenager, I finally reached a point where I couldn’t keep one more secret and told someone about my abuse. Hearing those words ring through the air was like a bell that could not be un-rung. It took me years to escape the aftereffects of my trauma. Trauma has permeated every part of my life – my mind, my relationships, my choices, the way I see the world, and how I function in it. I was dominated by fear.
I wanted to die and I finally got to a place where I knew I needed help. I desperately wanted/needed someone to save me/rescue me. I tried family, friends, sex, alcohol, pills, and therapy. I needed something else. I finally turned to my faith in God. I knew the pain was too much for me to tackle on my own and He stepped in and made a way for me to start healing. It was not an overnight fix. It has been a journey. It takes work and a commitment to want to heal and not to pretend anymore. Pretending was exhausting and I didn't want to do it anymore. I’m grateful that now, I can just be and whatever form it takes is fine.
Therapy was a wonderful place to start my recovery, but having someone trauma-informed to walk beside me has been the difference in accepting that I am not broken. I am not sick or defective. My feelings are not wrong or bad. It has helped me reconnect with parts of myself that I was forced to ignore and put away to make other people comfortable and to keep myself safe (as safe as a trauma survivor can feel). I have stopped trying to be perfect so others will love, accept, or approve of me. I finally chose myself! I chose to believe that I have a voice and I am empowered to use it. My thoughts and opinions are valid. My choices matter. My life matters. I matter.
I understand what it's like to feel small, insignificant, or like a fraud, because there is no freedom to be your authentic self - To be free from shame, sadness, anxiety, fear, and trauma. As a Certified Trauma Recovery Coach, it is a blessing to walk beside you as you embark on your own healing journey. I will be there to help you find your voice, embrace your truth and carve out a path that is uniquely yours. Trauma recovery coaching is different from therapy because you are in control. It’s a client-led process. I'm a survivor just like you; so, we will work together as peers and travel companions on this journey. No one knows you like you do or whom you want to become and I’m excited to explore the possibilities with you. I don’t view this as a job but a calling; it’s a ministry for me. I believe that God has placed me here to help fellow survivors and I am so excited that you are here!
You are NOT alone!
I SEE YOU
I HEAR YOU
I BELIEVE YOU
YOU MATTER to me and YOU MATTER to God!
If you’re tired of pretending and are ready to chart a new path, let’s talk!